♥ When Words Fail, Music Speaks ♥

Currently listening to

This world can't tear us apart

Trivium

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Wow.... it's been ages since I've been on buzznet... and everything is sooooo different.... I wanna trya get back on this webbie haha XD but that might take me a long time since.... high school is so fucking hard... and I don't use the computer as much...

but it's worth a shot....

I miss this webbie XD

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Yea... my itunes is being weird so I'm listening to music through youtube XD

Listening to:

Misery Loves Company - Emilie Autumn

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There are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many amazing concerts coming up!!!! It's insane lool XD okay maybe not a lot... but a few...

This month, The Birthday Massacre with I Am Ghost and Dommin (I spelled that wrong) are coming

Next month, Silverstein with BlessTheFall and Norma Jean and Before Their Eyes are coming

June, Taking Back Sunday with Anberlin and Envy On The Coast

July, Rise Against with Rancid and Billy Talent

And I think Mayhem is soon too, but I'm not going to that xP

I REALLY wanna go see Rise Against again :] they're amazing live :]

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btw, me and Guilhem are actually friends now o.o which is kinda weird... he started talking to me again like exactly a week ago, and now we're hanging out tomorrow and crap xP

Nick's like tryiing to keep a major distance between us now or something xP which is pretty upsetting XP

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For some reason I wanna take the drums back up again... although I kinda don't want to...

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Okay there are two awesome concerts coming up!!!! In May, Silverstein and BlessTheFall are coming and in July, Rancid and Rise Against are coming!!!! I wanna see Rise Against sooooooooo badly again!!!!! But I'm not really allowed to go to any concerts anymore... uggghhhhhh... the last concert I went to was a concert for local bands that Nick's band was in..... I'm soooo concert deprived XD
==================================

Yea...
So it's been a month since me and Nick broke up and things are going shitty...
He said we were still 'friends' but we stopped talking for a week, and then we started texting again, we'd see each other in the hallways... now, he said he's not allowed to text anymore since his parents took away his phone. he doesn't ever notice me in the hallways. when colin would drag him to sit with my friends at lunch, I 'm the only one he doesn't notice.... Life is just too complicated
I'm beyond fucking pissed that people think I'm going out or hooking up with my friend Dominic
And how a ton of my friends think they understand everything I'm saying, but once they say something back to me, it just shows how they don't know anything I'm getting at... And lately, I haven't been able to get ANY good advice....
And my friends are talking and saying shit about me behind my back... wtf -.-'''
And they're hiding stuff from me and shit, it's sooooooo annoying -.-'''' and they get pissed off and all hurt if I don't tell them everything... They're the ones who aren't telling ME anything...
Guilhem got pissed at me cause I don't like Bleach... the anime show thingy xP and cause he thinks I'm 'antisocial' but whatever xP
There's a creepy dude in my grade who is in my spanish class that stares at me 24/7 and it makes me feel very awkward and uncomfortable... but it's all cool, cause this senior named David is the student teacher and he is HAWWWWTTTTTT xD not as amazingly amazingly awesome as Nick though xP no one can come close to how cute, and sweet and nice and caring and hot as Nick is XD lol XD
My grades are dropping so rapidly too...
Oh and I'm skipping school and classes now (well kinda) cause I'm in this constant depressed mood now where I'll cry hysterically for a few hours...
I honestly need to figure myself out now....
I made some assumptions in a way on everything.... And whenever I make them clear and perfect sense in my mind... someone makes me believe otherwise and I get really depressed.....

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Currently Listening To
Toxic
A Static Lullaby
Wonderful cover ^^

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First he kills my life and shit (read my old journals and my old pics and crap)
Now he's trying to be in my life again?
SERIOUSLY!!!!!
I just lost my boyfriend!!!!
Nick Bear broke up with me xP but it was a good reason
Plus, we'd NEVER be able to get ANYWHERE together...
As much as I liked him xP
But whatever, back to Guilhem!!! Nick Bear is hard to hate XD
He's just as douchey as before but even worse
Uggghhhhhhhh

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Currently Listening To
Buried Way Too Shallow
I Am Ghost

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OH MY GOD!!!!!
It's been like FOREVER!!!!!

So yea,
So sorry I haven't been on
And it probably doesn't make much of a difference lol

Okay so I never get much a chance to come on buzznet
Cause of high school, homework and just forgetting (sorry :[ )

Okay, so my hair is literally a rainbow in the front
Almost everyone I know LOVES my hair lol

My booyyyyffrrriiieeennndddd is Nick :]
He's amazing at guitar!!!!
So yea we went out for, not even, two weeks
(January 21st - February 2nd)
And on February 21st, at 1 AM, we got back together :]
Gaiiii he makes me feel so amazing :)
He's an uber sweetheart
And honestly, I wouldn't be shocked if his band became famous one day!!!!!!
Even if we do break up, I'm still gonna be his friend
When he's happy, I'm happy :]

Life honestly is so amazing right now
And yea, I have my ups and downs
It's just plain old amazingly awesome
The only thing that keeps it from being perfect is
Being on buzznet
lol honestly!!!!!

Anyways
I'm really sorry I'm NEVER on...
It's REALLY hard for me to get a chance to
So much homework and projects
And giving Nick my fullest attention
Since we talk like 24/7, well text
I forgot to mention... he doesn't talk lol!!!
Only occasionally... :[

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87
xoxo Little Miss Super Fucking Annoying

PS: Once again, so sorry :(

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Currently Listening To
Winter Passing
The Academy Is...
What a pretty song...

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TEN EMOTIONS.
1. Are you missing someone right now? I guess...
2. Are you happy? Barely ever
3. Are you talking to anyone right now? Dominic
4. Are you bored: Kinda
5. Are you German: nope
6. Are you Irish: no
7. Are you French: GAHHHHH Dx lol no -.-'
8. Are you Italian: no
9. Are your parents still married: yup
10. Do you like someone right now?: I guess you could say that

TEN FAVORITES.
1. Store: Hot Topic
2. Flower: Rose
3. Color: Purple, Black, White, Pink
4. Fav sport: Badmitin or however you spell it
5. Mall: Any mall with Hot Topic xP
6. Music: Anything ranging from My Chemical Romance, The Birthday Massacre, Rise Against, Simple Plan, etc
7. Food: Curry, fried calamari
9. Animal: Gloomy Bear
10. State: Anywhere But Here... almost XD

TEN FACTS.
1. Hometown: Kwanju South Korea xD kinda... long story
2. Hair color: Dark dark dark brown
3. Age: 14
4. Hair style: A little longer than shoulder length, always a rainbow, base color ish my natural color... I guess
5. Eye color: dark brown, looks black
6. Closest friends: Michelle, Sarah, Dominic, Angie
7. Mood: Depressed, Broken, Sad, Pissed, Confused
8. Skin color: idk o.o like tan but lighter XD
9. Available: idk...
10. Lefty/righty: righty

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. Have you ever been in love? Tell me your point of view on love first...
2. Do you believe in love: I guess
3. Why did your last relationship fail: I'm a horrible person....
4. Have you ever been heartbroken: yea you could say that
5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? yup and I felt guilty abouts it DX
6. Have you ever fallen for one of your best friends: No
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them: yea... probably... I liked too many guys...
8. Are you afraid of commitment: Not really
9. Has someone ever kissed your hand: Yea and Guilhem take that fucking kiss back -.-'
10. Have you ever had a secret admirer: idk


TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. Love or trust: Love
2. Hard liquor or beer: Hard Liquor
3. Night or day: Night
4. One night stands or relationships: Relationships
5. Television or internet: Internet
6. Pepsi or coke: Coke
7. Wild night out or romantic night in: Either...
9. Phone or in person: In Person
10. Msn or aim: MSN

TEN HAVE Y0U EVER.
1. Have you ever been caught sneaking out? nope
2. Have you ever skinny dipped: nope
3. Have you ever done something you regret? so many times
6. Have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: the smaller ones, yes
7. Have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt? yea
8. Have you ever been in a fist fight? nope XD I'm not violent
9. Have you ever danced in the rain? ....maybe....
10. Have you ever had a hang over? hahahaha I wish XD

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Currently Listening To
In The Shadows
The Rasmus

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I did one of these back in August... and I wanna make another one XD since it's gonna be a LOT different from the first one...

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I Am
emotional

I Want
go to a new school and move far away from here...

I Have
some of the most amazing friends ever... but some okay friends x_o as mean as that sounds...

I Wish
I could read minds... so I can figure out what Nick is thinking... since he barely ever talks...

I Hate
a lot of stuff

I Fear
being left alone...

I Hear
music... In The Shadows by The Rasmus

I Search
for answers constantly but rarely ever get them...

I Wonder
why Guilhem ever got in my life... -.-'

I Regret
meeting Guilhem...

I Love
music and Rise Against...

I Ache
every second of the day

I Always
have music in my head

I Am Not
emo

I Dance
when everyone is dead and can't see me

I Sing
when I'm alone...

I Never
want to hear the name Guilhem or ANYTHING having to do wth France anymore... no offence...

I Rarely
am REALLY happy now...

I Cry
inside and out...

I Am Not Always
helping myself... Instead I'm pushing myself farther away from happiness or w/e...

I'm Confused
whenever I think...

I Need
to learn to trust myself...

I Should
try to move on with my life...

I Dream
of being happy again...

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Currently Listening To
Heaven Knows
Rise Against
"The day I learn to fly, I'm never coming down..."

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Yea it's weird...
Cause I don't normally check my favorites or groups that much here...
But I checked today...
And I had like...
10 new favorites!!!!!!!!
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?!
But yea...
idk who it was though...
Like some of the new favorites.. I just deleted immediately...
Like... there was a strip tease one...
Lil' Wayne
Lady Gaga
And other musicians I never heard of...
And an airline...
Air France...
But whatever...
I got rid of all those favorites...
Except Air France...
idk why though...
But whatever XD

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

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Currently Listening To
Time To Say Goodbye
Simple Plan
Gah I love these guys!!!!!

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Anyways yup...
As my pic of the day (Day 95) said...

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Yup yup...
I'm OVER Guilhem now XD
It's been like 6-7 months since I last hung out with him...
And it's been so long since we had a good converstation together...
He completely HATES me now...
And I got him REALLY pissed off today xD
I said:
"Hi?"
"So what movie did you end up seeing the other day?"
"-picture of Pikachu-"
Him:
"OMFG!!!!"
"CAN YOU SHUT UP?!?!?!?"
So I REALLY annoyed him today...
And he ended up blocking me (I think)
But I blocked him too XD
But whatever...
I'm over him now XD
Cause of this...
And it's about time I moved on...
So yea...
It still hurts to see his name...
And it hurts to hear about all the shitty stereotypes...
Cause Guilhem used to be so sweet!!!!!
And now he isn't x_x
But yea

Like the quote says...
"You don't just stop loving someone, either you never did or always will"
It took me so long to move on...
And I still like him a little bit...
But he acts like he never did like me...
Like he barely even knows me anymore...
And that he just hates me...
So that must mean he NEVER did like me... right?

---

I AM NOW OVER GUILHEM!!!!!
Well... Kinda...
I still have some feelings for him...
But I'm growing feelings for this dude named Nick...
And Andy still is kinda there...
I'm moving on with my life now ^_^

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

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Currently Listening To
Here I Stand
Madina Lake

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I'm gonna cry...
I just talked to Guilhem...
And he's different now...
And he's gonna get a new girlfriend by next friday...
I wish I was someone else now...
I wanna die....
I'm gonna cry...

xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87
xoxo Panic87

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Currently Listening To
Practice Makes Perfect
Cute Is What We Aim For

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Whatever... I don't listen to these guys that much...
I can't think of any good songs to listen to...
Although CIWWAF is pretty good XD

GAH!!!!!!!
I'M SO FRIGGIN TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT BOYFRIENDS AND SHIIITTTTTT
Okay, there's only ONE friggin person who just annoys me to death about it -.-
Ugh... It's like over the summer, she would text me and talk about her boyfriend
If I mentioned anything about Guilhem or try talking to him
All she'd do is say like... "Oh..." "whatever..." "cool..."
Or some weird short answer...
And then she'd go on and on about her boyfriend...
And now she still does that...
She ONLY talks to me
To talk about her boyfriend (new boyfriend that is)

I CAN'T GO TO THE SILVERSTEIN/CHIODOS/ESCAPE THE FATE CONCERT!!!!!

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Currently Listening To
Ashley
Escape The Fate

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Blah blah
I hate hate hate hate hate hate life right now...
BEYOND THE ACTUAL MEANING!!!!!
FUCK THIS ALL XD
It's like the chorus to Surfacing by Slipknot XD
hahahaha xD
I hate it...
Honestly...
School is so fucking HARD now...
I can't stand it x-x
And my friends...
Seems like some of them only want to be my friend at THEIR convenience
And it's so fucking annoying -.-
Grawr
And thanks to peoples like...
Dominic, Clayton, Colin and Frederik
Wow o-o I just realized those were only guys...
But yea... they talk to me whenever...
And don't just talk to me whenever they want to...
Ugh... I don't know why...

But I'm so dreading Halloween...
And I fucking LOVE Halloween
I get to dress up
And no one can say a fucking thing about it
I really wanna run into Guilhem during trick or treating....
But I doubt that'll ever happen...
Haha this sucks xD
I can't get the fuck over him...
And it's been over two months now...
I still LOVE LOVE LOVE hearing his name...
But it sucks cause I can only talk about him to like... one or two people...
And his pictures are still always near me XD haha
XD On my wall (which for some reason, I can't bring myself to take down)
On my phone and iPod...
And It's so weird cause I can only forget someone normally when their picture was on my iPod and then I take it off O.o
But yea...
I can't bring myself to do ANYTHING towards the actions of forgetting him...
Okay that was worded really awkwardly...
But I can't it's so friggin annoying...
He forgot me...
Why can't I forget him?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
But I'm so glad I haven't dreamt of him in a while...
Cause I always wake up depressed... cause it ends...
Unless it's like that last dream I've had of him o-o

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Currently Listening To
Cancer
My Chemical Romance

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Gahhhhhh
I'm so fucking done with this all Dx
(I bet this whole rant is just based off my stupid headache and my short temper [well... idk if you'd call it short temper] but yea...)
I wanna switch schools...
Like a LOT...
I wish I was French...
So I could go to that French academy/school that Guilhem goes to...
If it goes up to 9th grade O.o
I HATE THIS FEELING SO MUCH
I mean...
I liked it...
Cause I felt like someone liked me... I always feel I'm gonna be left behind...
(which I have been recently... or I feel like I have been... recently...)
I write about it so much...
I wonder if I'll run out of song ideas...
Cause on my iPod, I have 10 songs that I know are written for him...

Whatever...

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

Killz headache Dx

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Currently Listening To
Behind These Hazel Eyes
Kelly Clarkson

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Possibly...
No nightmare hurt me as badly as this one...

Running:
To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears.
-dreammoods.com

Running Away:
To dream that you are a runaway, indicates that you are dealing with issues of belonging and acceptance.
-dreammoods.com

Okay so...
It started at a At Home football game...
As in, at my school's football game.
He was a little taller... like he's like 5 10" from last time I saw him...
But he was like... almost 6 feet in my dream...
I was with Lilly (weirdpunkkid13)
And he was sitting in the seats closest to the entrance of the football field seats...
When we walked in, Lilly saw him and called him over.
And he smiled at me... a pretty smile..
He got up and started talking to Lilly...
Still smiling at me...
I was trembling...
And it felt like I was so close to crying...
And I was scared...
So I started to back away from them slowly...
They kept talking...
Guilhem's eyes still on me...
It's like... they didn't even notice I was backing up... but they could see me doing that...
So I ran into the girl's bathroom...
And then...
.Somehow it went to the Point Of View from my eyes...
I was getting text messages from him... like constantly...
Of pictures...
This was in the future...
He had a new girlfriend...
All the pictures he sent me where in shades of blue, black and white...
One picture was like:

That's my like... 5 minutes drawing of one of the pics he sent me...

He said that his new girlfriend gave it to him...
And there were other pictures he sent me too...
But I can't remember them...
The bear thing was the my old cellphone charm...
And the "I ♥ G"... the 'g' was written like how Gerard Way's autograph...

This dream was like...
A re-creation of EVERYTHING that happened since he got back...
And my nightmares of his future life...
Like..
How I want to see him so badly when he came back from France...
And when he did come back.. I ran into him at Barnes and Noble when I was with Lilly and Sarah...
And they talked to him...
And when I was 'running away' was when I said we should stop talking...
I was running away from my fear of his thoughts of me... and everything...
And then...
Into the future...
How much I'm gonna feel miserable when he gets a new girlfriend...
If he gets another one here in the US...
And how it'll savatage my feelings and soul...

And of the two dream interpretations...
I believe the 'RUNNING' one explains everything almost perfectly...
Because I'm running away from my actions... Not taking responsibility for what I've done...
And how I'm afraid to confront my fear (Guilhem, yet I like him more than life, itself)

---

It's literally been about two months!!!!
WHY CAN'T I ALREADY GET OVER HIM!!!!!
I haven't talked to him since the 17th... (9/17/08)
Cause (I THINK) he blocked me on msn then...
And I'm too scared to call him....

I want to give up so badly...
But I can't...

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

PS:
Sorry for not being on as much...
I'm not even on my other blogs that much anymore...
I'm gotten part of my life back...
My friends like hanging out with me again...
But I'm always scared I'll run into Guilhem...
But when I'm with them, I'm happier and stronger...
So I love seeing them all...
♥ Sarah, Lily ♥

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Currently Listening To
I'd Do Anything
Simple Plan

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So yea, when I was making a collage
I found a pic of a caset and it said 'Soundtrack of your summer tour'
So I decided to make a track listing of songs that pretty much sum up my summer...
NOT including Rise Against and songs and bands I just started listening to!!!!

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1. The Nameless
   Slipknot
2. My Heroine
   Silverstein
3. Moment
   Aiden
4. Smile In Your Sleep
   Silverstein
5. Wicked Game
   H.I.M
6. Reverse This Curse
   Escape The Fate
7. Higinia
   BlessTheFall
8. Morningstar
   AFI
9. Untitled
   Simple Plan
10. Heels Over Head
    Boys Like Girls
11. When The Day Met The Night
    Panic! At The Disco
12. Monsoon
    Tokio Hotel
13. Worlds Away
    From First To Last
14. The Malediction
    I Am Ghost
15. Unexpected Places
    The Academy Is...
16. Chop Chop
    The Academy Is...
17. Discovering The Waterfront
    Silverstein
18. All Around Me
    Flyleaf
19. Just Another Star
    Bullet For My Valentine
20. Far Away
    Nickelback

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What would YOUR soundtrack be?

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Currently Listening To
The Good Left Undone
Rise Against
And a few other RA songs too lol

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^^" Strawberry Ramune (okay... I don't really like ramune THAT much... the flavors get boring...) and vanilla and chocolate ice cream!!!! it's gooooood

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Anyways...
Let's me see how many sections I can write...
where I pity myself and crap...
And yea, I noticed, I'm oddly self-centered

---

School is such a drag...
The only good thing about it is I get to see my friends...
But I don't get to see my friends that much...
Since I have no classes with them...
And so far...
I have... 3 As, 1 D, 3 Cs...
My dad said he'd get me tickets to see the AMAZING
RISE AGAINST!!!!!
But... now he doesn't want to -.-
Rise Against is my favorite band -.-

---

Okay...
So yea...
Guilhem...
Yea...
He's french...
I wanted to call him today so badly...
But I couldn't...
Why?
From what I said to him...
I really WANT to cry over him...
But my eyes won't let me...
And when I look at the other girls that liked him...
Sarah Pyo (idk if there is or isn't a y in her last name)
Ashley Lopez (idk if she ACTUALLY liked him... but she looked interested)
He would've been so popular if he went with Sarah...
She's really pretty...
Dyes her hair, is asian, uber skinny and popular...
What's not to like?
Ashley Lopez...
Uber pretty...
Hispanic, I think..
She's a punk... (as in the style... but she has a punk attitude too)
She's Lezlie's little sister...
She's almost just like me...
But skinner, doesn't dye her hair, is hispanic, wears 'revealing clothes' as my parents would say...
What's not to like?
He'd be getting just about the same amount of popularity with Ashley than with Sarah...
But with me... he didn't get any...

As a matter of fact, it sounds like (from what my friends agreed on) he was just using me as a plaything or something...
I understand where they got that idea...
But I refuse to believe it completely...

Whenever I see a pic of Sarah Pyo. (I never see pics of Ashley) I just think... damn... Guilhem could've had this girl...
And "damn, now that I'm outta the way... she can go and get him..."
I honestly hate myself...
But there's no point in doing that...
It won't get me anywhere...

---

Tomorrow is a half day and then the next day is no school..
I plan to go to Barnes and Noble and just... relax...
Get out of this cage I call a home
I wanna be free again...
I wanna taste happiness again...
The kinda happiness where it just comes up to you
It looks you in the eye and slaps you in the face
Without any notice...
So that smile and laugh come out...

I'm gonna turn my life around
No matter what...
I'm gonna make this work...
I need at least ONE thing to work in my life...
And can that at least be happiness?
I don't know...

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

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Currently Listening To
Unexpected Places
The Academy Is...

---

Okay... So I don't remember everything from my dream...
Like certain parts of it I just don't remember...

To dream that you are apologizing to someone, denotes your revolving door of friendships and friends who have come and gone in your life. It is also representative of truth and forgiveness. It is time to let go of past grudges.
-www.dreammoods.com

The only difference from the interpretation is that it wasn't ME apologizing...

So yea...
I was calling someone...
I can't remember who -.-
But I don't know how
But I didn't realized who I actually called...
I called GUILHEM
X_X
And yea...
His brother answered with his heavy accent
And I said, "Hi it's Julia"
Or something like that
And he said, "Hold on"
And then Guilhem got on the phone and I said "Hi" again...
Then he said "Hey"
But the thing that made my heart sink was
He started saying that he was sorry
Sorry for letting me go
Sorry for 'letting me down'
Which he never really did...
But then I forgave him
And everything was fine between us...
Then I woke up -.-


I loved seeing his face behind closed eyes again...
It makes sleeping more blissful...
But finally...
When I'm starting to move on...
I see him again... in my dreams...
And it's something I dream and wish for every night...
At 11:11 PM, ever since he left during summer
I always wished on him...
And I still do...

By the interpretation...
I'm guessing it means,
I'm learning to face facts now.
That the truth is
He's gone out of my life now
And that I need to forget
How much I hate myself for losing him
And that I've forgiven myself
For letting him out (?)
Or I've forgiven him
For leaving my life (?)

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

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Currently Listening To
Shut Up And Let Me Go
The Ting Tings

---

Yea...
Like what my pic said (Day 54)
I was reading an msn convo I had with Guilhem a long time ago...
And you don't know how I feel... do you?
I mean,
I feel like one of those quotes...
Like this one:



But the difference is...

I'm the stupid person leaving someone.
He was smart enough to let me go
When I was stupid enough to walk away...

PS: Honestly, I thought this whole, "I'm stupid for stopping talking to him" wuold've ended by now... but it's not as easy as it seems...

---

Currently (And Forever) Listening To
Good Riddance
Green Day

---

Anyways...
This is the only song that holds me up
Makes me feel good about everything
Yet slap me in the face and bring me to reality...
I love this song...

---

Okay... so... I've finally decided...
It's time for me to move on...
I can't sit around and be all depressed about Guilhem...
He might be so amazing through my eyes
(And a douche/jack ass/bastard thruogh my friends' eyes)
But I can't let him control my life.
He (honestly) has gotten wayyyy too deep into my head and heart...
And I always told myself before anything
I wuold never let a boy control my life...
But
Look at me now...
I'm a total wreck...
Maybe this is for the better?
I don't know...
If Guilhem's able to move on...
I shuold be able to too
It will be hard...
But I'll manage
I haven't been able to shed many tears over this
Not as many as I wish
(Why would I wish to cry?)
But it'll all be over soon?
This feeling?
Do feelings actually EVER die?

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

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Currently Listening To
Step One
Telestai

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I was at Barnes and Noble with Sarah and when we walked into the music section on the bottom floor.... I saw someone with a skateboard going down the escalator...
And it was Guilhem... I started freaking out...
And it was just horrible...
I almost cried...
It was really weird too...
And then we ran into Lilly H.
And I was still freaking out abuot Guilhem being there...
Like I kept asking if he had left yet...
And after like 30-45 minutes he left...
And on the escalator up, I think he noticed me... but when I looked at him, he turned his back on me...
I WISH I COULD FORGET HIM!!!!!!
Just to save him the trouble of having to deal with me...

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

PS. I really want to cry... but my eyes just won't let me...

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Currently Listening To
My Heroine
Silverstein

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Currently Listening To
A Random Playlist Consisting of:
Ready To Fall - Rise Against
Roadside - Rise Against
I'd Do Anything - Simple Plan
This Is How A Heart Breaks - Rob Thomas
I Miss You - Blink 182

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Yup...

Have you ever listened to an amazing song and can't stop listening to it...
But every single time you listen to it...
It kills you a litte inside...???

That's how I feel when I  listen to
Ready To Fall by Rise Against...

xoxo Panic87
xoxo Julia Ish Buzznet's Panic87

How could I be so stupid?????